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The Grand Marshalls are turkeys... no really!
This years Grand Marshall for Disneyland's Thanksgiving Days Parade are a couple or real turkeys. Turkeys by the name of Blizzard & Snowball. Fresh from their pardons they will winging their way to Disneyland! When asked about the trip Snowball said that he hoped that Disneyland would accept his and Blizzard's "lifestyle choice" and hoped they could find a place at Santa's Reindeer Ranch and live out his life with his "lifepartner and soulmate".
National turkey will fly, by plane, to Disneyland
PETA criticized Va. educational farm, usual fate of White House bird
By Johanna Neuman
Originally published November 22, 2005
WASHINGTON // Every November, the president of the United States is presented with the National Thanksgiving Turkey - and promptly issues it a formal pardon.
But unlike the turkeys reprieved over the past 15 years, this year's bird will not be sent to Frying Pan Park, an animal farm in the Washington suburbs, to gobble to his heart's content for the rest of his days.
This afternoon, minutes after his life is spared, the 35-pound presidential turkey - along with a backup bird - is going to Disneyland. On United Flight 197. First class.
With a contentious Congress in recess, some might speculate that the turkeys are benefiting from the benevolence of a capital in seasonal good cheer.
But the travel plans might have more to do with a letter-writing campaign sponsored by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, along with some reports in the media, decrying the fate that befell the previously pardoned birds.
"We sent a letter to President Bush early last week, as we have for the last five years in a row, asking him to send the birds to a better environment than Frying Pan Park, where they shiver in a 10x10 shed with no mental or physical stimulation and tend to die within six months," said Bruce Friedrich, director of vegan campaigns for PETA.
"Really, the pardon for the last 15 years has been more like a death sentence."
The park, an animal sanctuary in Herndon, Va., that re-creates a 1930s farm for visiting schoolchildren, vigorously denies that it has mistreated the turkeys, which it considers honored guests.
"The claims of poor or inhumane treatment were a little painful for our staff, because they take pride in the care of the animals," said spokeswoman Judy Pedersen.
"Many of these turkeys are bred for the table. They don't tend to have a long retirement."
For its part, Disney said that it scored the presidential turkey with a request to the National Turkey Federation, a Washington-based advocacy group for all things turkey that has provided a Thanksgiving bird to the commander-in-chief since 1947.
But this being Washington, conspiracy theories have popped up about the real motive behind the destination change.
With the White House referring all questions to the federation and the federation not returning calls, PETA is sure the president wants to fend off any more negative publicity.
"He's dodging Turkeygate," Friedrich said.
Frying Pan Park thinks the federation recognized all the good ink it could get by sending the turkey to media-rich California. And Disneyland is sure it won the bird to help the park celebrate its 50th anniversary.
"It's very exciting," said Disneyland's Valarie Sukovaty.
All sides seem to agree that Disneyland is a wonderful grazing ground for turkeys that might otherwise have landed as breast meat on the Thanksgiving groaning board.
"We wish them all well," said Pedersen. "They've been with us for 15 years, a rich tradition at Frying Pan Park. And if they're ever looking for a place near the White House, the presidential suite doors remain open."
PETA, which put in calls to the White House and to Disneyland to make sure "the turkey is not shoved into the cargo hold of an airplane, where thousands of animals die every year," expressed a certain Happiest Place on Earth sentiment.
"It's hard to imagine a nicer place for anyone than Disneyland," said Friedrich.
The presidential pardon is scheduled for 1:05 p.m. today. Then, like the Super Bowl MVP who within moments of victory declares that he's going to Disney World, the National Thanksgiving Turkey, accompanied by the alternate, will be whisked in a van and a motorcade - all at Disneyland's expense - to a 2:40 p.m. flight from Washington Dulles International Airport to Los Angeles.
On Thursday, the turkeys will be honored as grand marshals of Disneyland's Thanksgiving Day Parade, sitting on a float. Afterward, they will become perhaps the most celebrated residents of Santa's Reindeer Ranch, in Frontierland.
By that time the turkeys, brought up on a farm owned and operated by Jim and Vicki Trites in Henning, Minn., might well have some things to be thankful for.
Or, as Disney puts it, each will be "The Happiest Turkey on Earth!"
And now for some parody....
Bush Refuses to Pardon The National Turkeys Democracy and Freedom
by Dood Abides
Washington, DC (Rotters) - In a stunning break with tradition, President Bush refused to pardon the National Thanksgiving Turkey and its alternate today at the official pardoning ceremony in the Rose Garden. The birds were named Democracy and Freedom by voting results from an online poll at the White House website. Also present for the ceremony were administration officials Karl Rove, Condoleezza Rice, Donald Rumsfeld, and Vice President Dick Cheney.
The press in attendance were shocked as the President then personally carried out the sentence himself, producing a Katana sword which he had received as a gift from Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi during his visit last week. The execution was swift and clean, and Democracy and Freedom's deaths appeared instantaneous and without further suffering.
After cleaning off a bit of blood spatter, the President offered a few words:
"My fellow Americans. This is indeed a violent, but necessary lesson for us all. We must be forever ready to act swiftly in defense of America lest this be the sword of terror which comes quietly in the night after our own Democracy and Freedom. As we all begin to debate the virtues of a war that we did not ask for around the holiday table, let us keep this in mind. Debate is a good thing, but in this season of Thanksgiving, let it be over how best to serve Democracy and Freedom to the rest of the world, and white or dark should all be equal. Let this symbolic act show the world how America will continue to deal with terrorist threats. Let us all be thankful that this administration will continue to plot a steady course for our brave sons and daughters in Iraq as well as those suffering at home as the result of natural disaster in these times of abundant fear. Thank you, and have a blessed Thanksgiving Day"
Scott McClellan spoke to reporters afterwards and said, "As the healthy debate over the war in Iraq evolves, it is important for you to know that just as in the natural disaster of Katrina, this administration had made no insidious plans. There was no planning at all, and to suggest so is as Vice President Cheney has suggested just 'morally reprehensible'. We hope America will keep the fears for their loved ones as well as the fears of the terrorist attack which will surely come if we just cut and run in mind over this holiday season."
When a reporter asked if the President wasn't afraid of the appearances of this public execution, McClellan responded, "Ah, yes... bird flu. America can rest assured that while the virus actually surfaced here in America some months ago, pending confirmation it was kept a secret. No chances were taken with the President, however, and he had taken a dose of Tamiflu from the White House stockpile yesterday in anticipation of today's risk of exposure."
Another reporter pointed out that Disneyland would now be without its Grand Marshals for the annual Thanksgiving Day Parade after the demise of Democracy and Freedom. McClellan smiled and said, "The administration is way ahead on that one. The President will be pardoning Scooter Libby and Karl Rove, and they have agreed to perform in this capacity."
National turkey will fly, by plane, to Disneyland
PETA criticized Va. educational farm, usual fate of White House bird
By Johanna Neuman
Originally published November 22, 2005
WASHINGTON // Every November, the president of the United States is presented with the National Thanksgiving Turkey - and promptly issues it a formal pardon.
But unlike the turkeys reprieved over the past 15 years, this year's bird will not be sent to Frying Pan Park, an animal farm in the Washington suburbs, to gobble to his heart's content for the rest of his days.
This afternoon, minutes after his life is spared, the 35-pound presidential turkey - along with a backup bird - is going to Disneyland. On United Flight 197. First class.
With a contentious Congress in recess, some might speculate that the turkeys are benefiting from the benevolence of a capital in seasonal good cheer.
But the travel plans might have more to do with a letter-writing campaign sponsored by People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, along with some reports in the media, decrying the fate that befell the previously pardoned birds.
"We sent a letter to President Bush early last week, as we have for the last five years in a row, asking him to send the birds to a better environment than Frying Pan Park, where they shiver in a 10x10 shed with no mental or physical stimulation and tend to die within six months," said Bruce Friedrich, director of vegan campaigns for PETA.
"Really, the pardon for the last 15 years has been more like a death sentence."
The park, an animal sanctuary in Herndon, Va., that re-creates a 1930s farm for visiting schoolchildren, vigorously denies that it has mistreated the turkeys, which it considers honored guests.
"The claims of poor or inhumane treatment were a little painful for our staff, because they take pride in the care of the animals," said spokeswoman Judy Pedersen.
"Many of these turkeys are bred for the table. They don't tend to have a long retirement."
For its part, Disney said that it scored the presidential turkey with a request to the National Turkey Federation, a Washington-based advocacy group for all things turkey that has provided a Thanksgiving bird to the commander-in-chief since 1947.
But this being Washington, conspiracy theories have popped up about the real motive behind the destination change.
With the White House referring all questions to the federation and the federation not returning calls, PETA is sure the president wants to fend off any more negative publicity.
"He's dodging Turkeygate," Friedrich said.
Frying Pan Park thinks the federation recognized all the good ink it could get by sending the turkey to media-rich California. And Disneyland is sure it won the bird to help the park celebrate its 50th anniversary.
"It's very exciting," said Disneyland's Valarie Sukovaty.
All sides seem to agree that Disneyland is a wonderful grazing ground for turkeys that might otherwise have landed as breast meat on the Thanksgiving groaning board.
"We wish them all well," said Pedersen. "They've been with us for 15 years, a rich tradition at Frying Pan Park. And if they're ever looking for a place near the White House, the presidential suite doors remain open."
PETA, which put in calls to the White House and to Disneyland to make sure "the turkey is not shoved into the cargo hold of an airplane, where thousands of animals die every year," expressed a certain Happiest Place on Earth sentiment.
"It's hard to imagine a nicer place for anyone than Disneyland," said Friedrich.
The presidential pardon is scheduled for 1:05 p.m. today. Then, like the Super Bowl MVP who within moments of victory declares that he's going to Disney World, the National Thanksgiving Turkey, accompanied by the alternate, will be whisked in a van and a motorcade - all at Disneyland's expense - to a 2:40 p.m. flight from Washington Dulles International Airport to Los Angeles.
On Thursday, the turkeys will be honored as grand marshals of Disneyland's Thanksgiving Day Parade, sitting on a float. Afterward, they will become perhaps the most celebrated residents of Santa's Reindeer Ranch, in Frontierland.
By that time the turkeys, brought up on a farm owned and operated by Jim and Vicki Trites in Henning, Minn., might well have some things to be thankful for.
Or, as Disney puts it, each will be "The Happiest Turkey on Earth!"
And now for some parody....
Bush Refuses to Pardon The National Turkeys Democracy and Freedom
by Dood Abides
Washington, DC (Rotters) - In a stunning break with tradition, President Bush refused to pardon the National Thanksgiving Turkey and its alternate today at the official pardoning ceremony in the Rose Garden. The birds were named Democracy and Freedom by voting results from an online poll at the White House website. Also present for the ceremony were administration officials Karl Rove, Condoleezza Rice, Donald Rumsfeld, and Vice President Dick Cheney.
The press in attendance were shocked as the President then personally carried out the sentence himself, producing a Katana sword which he had received as a gift from Japanese Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi during his visit last week. The execution was swift and clean, and Democracy and Freedom's deaths appeared instantaneous and without further suffering.
After cleaning off a bit of blood spatter, the President offered a few words:
"My fellow Americans. This is indeed a violent, but necessary lesson for us all. We must be forever ready to act swiftly in defense of America lest this be the sword of terror which comes quietly in the night after our own Democracy and Freedom. As we all begin to debate the virtues of a war that we did not ask for around the holiday table, let us keep this in mind. Debate is a good thing, but in this season of Thanksgiving, let it be over how best to serve Democracy and Freedom to the rest of the world, and white or dark should all be equal. Let this symbolic act show the world how America will continue to deal with terrorist threats. Let us all be thankful that this administration will continue to plot a steady course for our brave sons and daughters in Iraq as well as those suffering at home as the result of natural disaster in these times of abundant fear. Thank you, and have a blessed Thanksgiving Day"
Scott McClellan spoke to reporters afterwards and said, "As the healthy debate over the war in Iraq evolves, it is important for you to know that just as in the natural disaster of Katrina, this administration had made no insidious plans. There was no planning at all, and to suggest so is as Vice President Cheney has suggested just 'morally reprehensible'. We hope America will keep the fears for their loved ones as well as the fears of the terrorist attack which will surely come if we just cut and run in mind over this holiday season."
When a reporter asked if the President wasn't afraid of the appearances of this public execution, McClellan responded, "Ah, yes... bird flu. America can rest assured that while the virus actually surfaced here in America some months ago, pending confirmation it was kept a secret. No chances were taken with the President, however, and he had taken a dose of Tamiflu from the White House stockpile yesterday in anticipation of today's risk of exposure."
Another reporter pointed out that Disneyland would now be without its Grand Marshals for the annual Thanksgiving Day Parade after the demise of Democracy and Freedom. McClellan smiled and said, "The administration is way ahead on that one. The President will be pardoning Scooter Libby and Karl Rove, and they have agreed to perform in this capacity."